Sunday, March 4, 2018

You Look Tired.

If you've ever been a parent, you know what tired feels like.

If you have ever been a parent of more than one child, you really know what it's like to be tired.

If you are a parent of a baby, you know that kind of tired.
And three-year-old-obsessed-with-transformers tired. (that's a more elusive kind of tired, though, I think...)
And if you have ever been a single parent or had your spouse/significant other go away for any number of days every week, you know that tired.
And then there's the tired from lack of sunshine that winter brings, and the tired of extra job stuff... And the tired of when your house is sick and the kids and husband drop one by one...
And then the kid with the chronic illness gets it and that involves a whole slew of new challenges...

I am tired. 

And then the baby needs your time because you're the mama, and only you know how he likes to have his back and bottom patted as he falls asleep when you're holding him and wishing he'd settle down... and only you know how he needs to be put in the bed just so so when he rolls over he doesn't bump the side and wake himself again and make you start rocking him all over again...

And then the three year old needs you because you cut his sandwiches the right way, and you can talk about transformers with him and look at picture after picture of old transformer toys while he tell you the names of most of them... And when his feelings are hard for him to process and he needs his mama, you are there. Of course.

And then when son number one needs an insulin injection or a ketone test or wants to talk about carbs and how much his life has changed... you talk to him about it often. And try hard not to worry about what the diagnosis entails for him.

And then the 8 year old needs mom time because girl talk is the best kind of talk. And to talk about fantasy books with magical spells and about how much she likes cheesecake (a lot), and to talk about boys as needed...

And the husband needs me because he spends the weeknights on his own, and has two days a week and change to really be present as part of our family...

And I try to do all of the things, and to be where I'm needed.
And everything is important, and every kid's need...
And I love them all...

But you get exhausted. I do.

But I don't know if I'd change anything. The same people who make me question my sanity on a daily basis are the same ones that I don't know what I'd do without. 

And so if (er... when) you see me and I look tired, just assume that I am tired. Really tired. And know that I know this already, so telling me is optional.  (and not encouraged)