Fear Makes the Wolf Bigger Than He Is

I promise that there's [lots] more going on in my life than just my family's new foray into the care and feeding of a newly diagnosed Type 1 Diabetic kiddo (in addition to the other three hellions who require their own various special things), but this is new and fresh and at the forefront of what I'm doing as a parent and as a human being.  There are many things going on in my brain since Number One Son's diagnosis, and rather than make a whole bunch of posts, I thought that I'd make just make a list of things that I've learned that I never knew I didn't know.  (I think that's a line in a Disney Song...  "You'll learn things you never knew you never knew..." Pocahontas is so wise.)

1.  Type 1 Diabetes is not a cut and dry thing.  Somehow in my mind, it was "you have that, you get insulin, you are totally fine".  Turns out that was only a tiny bit true--in that you get insulin.  Newly diagnosed kids have levels that are all over the place.  We've already had highs and lows and we've only just dipped our toes into the ocean of T1D things to come.  It's not a condition where you can simply take one pill or get one shot and then not have to worry about it--though it would be plenty more convenient if that were the case. We talk to our amazing nurse or one of her equally amazing colleagues almost daily, and I am not sure I can adequately put into words how much I appreciate their tolerance of my endless questions.

2.  Pee is really important.  Once we figured out the root cause of the drinking and peeing overloads, and that we knew that even with all of that, our guy was actually dehydrated, it was an easy problem to fix.  The big symptom went away nearly as quickly as it had started.  (And we rejoiced).  Pee tells diabetics if there are problems... and when there aren't, it's glorious.  And 6 year old boys, being the strange little creatures that they are, have no issues with being the ones to dunk the ketone test strips into the urine and watch with wonder to see if the color changes or not.  I have cared more about pee in the past one month than I probably have in my entire life, with the notable exceptions of my own at-home pregnancy testing for each of the kids.  Just when I thought the excitement in my life from testing urine was officially done, too...  :-)

3. "Fear makes the wolf bigger than he is." --German Proverb
 In my copious amounts of spare time, or when my brain is still running 100 miles per hour and the rest of me isn't, I find random bits of interesting things on the internet.  I was trying to find some quote that summed up my feelings on "no-fear-diabetes-parenting" and this was pretty spot on.  We know it's there, and we are managing that.  Beyond that, there's not any good reason I can find to not just continue with life as "business as usual" as we can.  Certainly there are limitations to that, but we haven't found a lot yet.  Son Number One is a pretty remarkable kid, in that he has stayed pretty matter-of-fact about the diagnosis, and while he knows it sucks, he also realizes that if he wants to be healthy--and he does--that all of these things have to happen. We have been very honest and up front with him about every detail of his care, and he is soaking the things up like a sponge, and is being very matter-of-fact with anyone who cares to ask him about it.  Instead of crying and being despondent, which I expect is a reasonable reaction for a 6 year old, he has taken everything head on.  He does all of his own finger pokes and testing, he knows how to read carb labels on products, his math skills are improving from adding up carbs for meals, he wants to do his own injections, and he is Proud when he tells people what he has to do to stay healthy.  He has an ownership in his care and health that many people don't get until they are older, I expect.  And it is pretty remarkable.

4.  Sugar-Free isn't the same as Carb-free.
In a relatively short time, we've figured out that carbs are hidden in everything, and that that there are many people who are misinformed that sugar-free is the same as "diabetic friendly".  Lots of sugar free foods are completely full of carbs. My logic has always been that if it's sugar-free, it will also be low carb.  Turns out it just means that sometimes it may be lower carb.

5. People overwhelm me with kindness.
Since I'm assuming most people who read this know me personally, most people know the community where I live.  And most people probably know each other, or at least know someone who knows someone else, etc.  I always like to believe that I have several families here.  I have my family, the one who's actually related to me (whether they like to be or not...), I have my school family made up of colleagues and friends and students and students' families.  I have my church family who remembers me (despite my poor attendance record recently...), and I have the rest of the community, many folks I've known since my own childhood.

I have been asked so many times how Son Number One is doing that I've lost count.  I have had people tell us that they're praying for us, and that we are in their thoughts, and how sorry they are.  We are sorry, too.  We've had more gestures of kindness sent our way in the past couple of weeks than we deserve.  During our stay at the hospital, I bet I had a message from nearly every person in my hometown who works at the University offering to bring me anything, or to do anything they could do since they'd be right there.  A good friend had a lovely batch of sugar-free cookies sent from across the country for him, along with a couple books for him, including his very own diabetes cookbook.  A couple people have brought us meals, which is amazing, but what's more amazing is the amount of thought and care went into preparing them.  People have been counting carbs for my boy. Stories have been shared with me from others who have Type 1 experiences, and I appreciate every one.  I've had not one, but two community members tell me that the local Lion's Club would like to give him a scholarship to go to a summer camp for kids with Type 1 Diabetes.  I've even had the well-meaning message about what I can do to "cure" his diabetes (currently, there's no cure), which I will take at face value as the gesture of kindness it was intended to be.

A lot of people have commented to me how rough the past couple of months have been for my family, and they aren't wrong.  The last month alone has felt like a year.  Baby Sloth had a bout of RSV that started right before Christmas, and I don't honestly think that I have had a complete and fulfilling night of sleep since about a week.  And here we are, after slogging through a month that has felt like six months.  We're still OK.  The Queen Bee still has her nose stuck in a book and wants to eat nothing but sweets, Son Number One is as patient and gentle as he's ever been--and stronger and more confident than he's ever been.  The Feisty One is still feisty.  He likes to threaten to bite his older siblings, and throwing the occasional hot wheels car isn't out of the norm around here.  Baby Sloth is just starting to stand up to things, which means that my house needs another round of baby-proofing, and I'm just not ready for that.  Super Dad is away for the week, as usual, and I am holding down the fort of the chaos parade that is our normal. 

We are still OK.  We're going to be OK.  Fear makes the wolf bigger than he is.